I know that you live out of town and consider yourself frum, so I hope that you and your out of town readers don’t take this the wrong way, but I always felt that those folks who moved out of town were sacrificing on their yiddishkeit for a higher quality of life in the secular sense. To put it bluntly, I really don’t hold out of towners to a high standard, unless they traveled to far off places to do kiruv. Kiruv is a lofty enough enterprise to give one a heter to move away from the centers of frumkeit, but to merely leave because you can’t make it in a regular frum community is no excuse.
I should make one thing clear, unlike most frum Jews I agree with you that many east coast cities that frummies consider out of town are in fact just extensions of town. New Jersey, Connecticut, and Baltimore for example are quite in town, while places like Denver, Chicago, Phoenix, and Detroit are definitely out of town.
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