My frum-porn arrived in the mail

It’s a magazine with shiny pages and vibrant picture. And it’s total frummy-porn goodness. But there’s no skin, and hardly any pictures of people. Confused? It’s the Annual Shnorah Chinese Raffle Catalog.

Porn for frummies. Beautiful images of highly desirable, but largely unattainable objects of desire that are stapled into a simple magazine meant to tease me out of some money in the false hope that maybe I’ll get a piece of the real thing. Ahh, how we love porn.